Just the ramblings of a struggling artist, the constant student, lost in piles of programming books, empty jager bottles, and cigarette butts
I needed a break at work today, and I needed to take my mind of all the stressful things related to work. My release today was this poster for Lunchbox Radio:
Cross posted in Arts
I have enabled commenting for the Arts section. It was live for a minute but I took it off and I can’t remember why, so I have turned it back on.
Saturday night after a little bit of mushroom and absinthe, I was flipping through my sketchbook and stopped on this drawing. I like this drawing, and it was just a sketch of the tree of life. Man growing, evolving, his mind reaching its absolute potential. Staring into this drawing I realized something. Slightly trippin I quickly wrote it down on top of the actual sketch. The irony of man is that his constant search of the meaning of life, god, etc, is always in the one place he cannot actually look.
Over the weekend The Mantis and I made our first Radio Liners. This was the first time I have attempted to create anything with sound. It is definitely fun and I am excited to learn more about it. We used cubase to record and compile the audio. We made one for Jager Hour, our not so consistent show where we play records and ramble on until we are too drunk to continue, and for general broadcasting on Lunchbox Radio.
Check them out!
Jager Hour
Lunchbox Radio
I have scanned a few more sketches tonight. I am not drawing as much as I should be, but I did want to show a few of the things I am playing with lately. I am not sure what to say about it, maybe that I am starting to take in spirituality with more than a cocked eye and a shrug. For example, this one is called “Tree of Life”, and it is in response to some things I have been reading about the mythologies of most modern and ancient religions. It was also a response to that goddamned sunrise on the playa 2 years ago. I will never be able to forget what that did to me. Sun worship? I can totally buy that.
Check out the new sketches.
Burningman.com has been updated with more information about this years theme. Hopefully this helps clear some things up and puts the whole thing into perspective. The American Dream was one of hope and prosperity for an entire world. It seems that too many people simply didn’t know or care to learn about it and loudly screamed for the mans head on many of the burner forums for being a sell out, for being “pro america” (and why is that bad?). I will admit, when I first saw what the theme was i flinched, thought to myself: “no fucking way, are they serious”? Then I thought about it, really looked into the idea, and realized that this theme is amazing. It is very challenging. It has made me question what the american dream means to me, what it meant to the generations of immigrants who have made this nation, and has really allowed me to explore my feelings towards my country, our responsibility as a world power, real issues in the real world. I can’t wait to see how people interpret this on the playa.
As long as something massive gets blown up in a giant fireball it really won’t matter.
This year Burning Man will stand atop an obelisk. This imposing monument, emblazoned with the images of flags, will represent the countries of the world. Ranging from Canada to Chad, from Brazil to Burundi, from Vatican City to the Republic of China, these emblems will shine brightly in the night, gleaming like illuminated gems that stud a giant jewel box. A double-helix, like a strand of DNA, will form a staircase. Twining around the axis of this tower, it will spiral through a series of viewing platforms. The topmost tier will stand directly underneath the Burning Man.
Once upon a time I had a grand idea. It was to be an all encompassing and tangible representation of a feeling and love for a certain style of music. A sound that, when you heard it, sent chills up your spine and stopped the world. It was the sound. It was everything I wanted out of electronic music. To me it defined what it meant to be a raver. When I heard it, it just felt right. It made me feel right. I had a friend who shared this feeling and also shared this idea. Our downfall was that you cannot capture a feeling into something real without losing the feeling. We could never focus the idea enough to do anything with it. We called it Mixlife. Even the name evoked that feeling, enough so that everyone around us understood immediately what it was.
We tried to turn it into an online source for Electronic Music culture and news, a dj profile and music resource, an events calendar, a clothing line, a promoter, hell we even tried to be a radio station. We could have done so much with it and that was the problem. It could have been anything. Perhaps it was because we just couldn’t decided what we wanted? Or lacked the discipline to just do it? I honestly think it is because you just cannot take an emotion and make it something you can touch. Its far too abstract a concept.
Maybe we just wanted to hold onto something innocent and free? Maybe Mixlife meant more than we thought it did?
In the end, it became more of a burden than anything. Friendships were tarnished, people were alienated, and I lost sight of what was important.
After a few years struggling to focus I decided to let it go. I have come to realize that trying to match the scale of this feeling with a business was a terrible idea and was distracting me from the whole point of Mixlife; the music. That was always the point. To promote and focus on the music we liked.
During the end of this fiasco we had an inside joke about Mixlife. It tried to be everything. So, like Spaceballs, we had mixlife the flamethrower, mixlife the toilet paper, and my personal favorite, mixlife the lunchbox. Once I finally let it all go I realized that all I really wanted was a place where I could listen to the music I like with no pressure from anyone else, no expectations, and no bullshit. So at 2am after a long night at work I registered lunchboxradio.com. The next morning I secured a server, installed shoutcast, and starting encoding some of my favorite mixes. I even created a small logo just for the hell of it.
It’s all just for me and my selfish love of a sound that keeps me going. If other people like it then right on. I am not planning on broadcasting this to thousands of people, and I don’t plan on having resident DJ’s or weekly shows. I just want to be able to listen to the sounds that make me feel at home. It is all I really wanted from Mixlife.
During the course of all this I also realized that this sound is just for me. It’s what drives me. Other people have other sounds, but I do believe that in the end they have that same feeling. We are united under a common love. Without getting too emo or preachy about it, it’s a very beautiful thing. It’s all about the music man… ya dig?
For anyone who is interested, check it out at lunchboxradio.com. It’s nothing fancy, and the selection is limited at the moment. But if you like the music I like, then you might dig this.
I haven’t put pen to paper in a long time. I want to, it’s killing me inside that I don’t. But I can’t. Every time I sit down I feel that I am forcing myself to do it and nothing comes out. It is all very frustrating. Nicole mentioned it could be my environment. I shrugged that off at first, but now that I have had a nights sleep I am entertaining the idea.
I am just not inspired at the moment to do anything. This is common and is perfectly normal, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it is excruciatingly frustrating. Trying to force creativity doesn’t work. However forcing myself to draw and play might help to get back into things. I could just practice life drawing again, or do some still lifes. Something to simply exercise the muscles. The blank page of my sketchbook is intimidating. I want to squash that.
Some things that have helped in the past have been very simple. Getting out of the house to meet with some friends during the week. Going to the book store. Taking a walk. Simple things, but very refreshing. I should treat my inspiration like I do the actual art. Don’t force it, let it come naturally. It comes from not thinking about it. When I do eventually put some color on a page I am not thinking about the next line, I am thinking about everything else. What I need is to stop thinking so hard about it.
Update:
I have started re-reading ”Art & Fear” by David Bayles & Ted Orland. Fantastic book that puts the process of art making into perspective. I highly recommend it for anyone who creates art.
Painted these in a few weekends for Stilldream. We ended up taking them to Burning Man as well.
Scott Hansen has always been a huge inspiration to me. It has been a while since I have looked at his work, but today I took a peek. Wow, as usual, he pisses me right the fuck off and makes me want to grab my pen and start sketching. His style is top notch. I urge you to check it out if you haven’t already.
If you are into some really good spacey electronic sounds, check out his music project Tycho as well.
My name is Roy Lindauer, aka “Ecsyle”. I am a graphic designer, web developer, artist, and music lover. My life revolves around the arts and electronic music. I work full time as a manager/developer of a successful web development firm in Nevada. I live and work in Reno, NV. My most current side project is Lunchbox Radio, a place where I can listen to the music I like.
