It’s April already

And I have not done any art. I can’t seem to leave the computer long enough. There’s always something to distract me, or that is more urgent. Kinda crazy. Video games are a huge distraction at the moment. Like, I’m not even playing because it’s fun. It’s just fulfilling this urge, this need to play. I feel mad guilty afterwards. It’s very perverse!

I have been trying to be more mindful about the video games, and while it’s not stopping me from playing, I am at least seeing how I am playing. And I’m definitely not a fan. The thought of getting rid of them makes me feel a bit of panic. It’s a strange feeling. Kinda like smoking. The urge to smoke was brutal, but I stopped, and the urge passed.

However, now I am wondering if I have simply substituted smoking with other things since I quit. Gonna have to think about that one.

Found lots of excuses to not play with watercolor this past weekend. It’s very silly but I worry that it won’t be very good.. But like, how is it supposed to be any good if I don’t work it?